When It’s Personal
Peter asked Jesus how many times he has to forgive. Guest speaker Rob Mayer walks through Jesus’ answer in Matthew 18: a servant forgiven a debt he could never repay, who then refuses to forgive a small one. We forgive because we have been forgiven.
Listen:
Sermon Notes
Key verse: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
The big idea: We forgive because we have been forgiven.
Guest speaker Rob Mayer opened with an honest admission: we all love forgiveness in theory, but it is one of the hardest things to live out. Everyone in the room has been hurt, and most of us are holding on to something we have not forgiven yet. Holding on to hurt and bitterness keeps us captive, and Jesus came to set captives free.
In Matthew 18, Peter asks Jesus how many times he has to forgive someone who keeps sinning against him. Seven times sounds generous. Jesus answers, “Seventy-seven times.” He is not giving us a number to keep track of. In the kingdom of God, we stop keeping score. Then Jesus tells a story to show why.
Remember the size of your debt
Matthew 18:23-27; Romans 3:23
A servant owes his king 10,000 talents. One talent was about twenty years of a laborer’s wages, so this is a debt he could never pay back. That is a picture of us before a holy God. We tend to grade our sin on a curve against other people, but the Bible measures it against God’s holiness. All have sinned and fall short.
Forgiveness absorbs the debt
The king does not lower the debt or put the servant on a payment plan. He forgives it, which means he takes the loss himself. That is what God did for us at the cross. Our debt was placed on Jesus, so that we do not get what we deserve.
Don’t choke out the people around you
Matthew 18:28-30
The same servant walks out, finds a man who owes him a small amount, grabs him by the throat and demands, “Pay what you owe.” Unforgiveness says the same thing: you need to feel the pain you caused me. We do it through slander, cutting people off, and little comments meant to make them pay.
Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation
Romans 12:19
Forgiveness happens in our hearts, even when the other person never apologizes. Reconciliation is a restored relationship, and it may take time or may not happen at all. Sometimes boundaries are wise. Forgiving means releasing my claim to get even and leaving justice to God. It moves us from critical to compassionate, and often we have to choose it again and again.
Remember the King
Matthew 18:31-35; Luke 23:34; Matthew 7:3-5
On the cross, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them.” The gospel erases our neat categories of people who have hurt me and people who have not. There is one category: people like me who need mercy and grace.
Mercy received becomes mercy lived. That is Mercy Next Door.
Discussion Questions
- Peter thought forgiving seven times was generous. Where are you tempted to keep score?
- Why does it matter that the king forgave the debt instead of lowering it or setting up a payment plan?
- Rob said forgiveness and reconciliation can happen at different speeds. How does that change the way you think about someone who has hurt you?
- Who came to mind during this message, and what would it look like to take your hands off their neck this week?